Aug. 30th, 2012

So my spam filter sent up all sorts of TARDIS-like sounds this morning to let me know I'd gotten something particularly whackadoodle in an LJ comment. I'm not even sure if it's accurate to call it spam, exactly...I mean, it's spammy in that it didn't relate to the subject at ALL, but it's both too coherent and too full of crazy rage to be lumped in with the sorts of mass mailings I'd normally consider spam.

I want to share it with y'all because it's the sort of cray-cray you normally have to go to the Craigslist political discussion pages to encounter, but at the same time I don't want to see this nut think his or her goal--to anonymously slander someone--is meeting with any success whatsoever. So I'll give you the comment spam, but with a few of the names tweaked just a little bit--see if you can spot the edits!

A vote for Candidate for SALON INSPECTOR in South Middlesex County AMANDA HUGGINKISS is a wasted one


A vote for Candidate for SALON INSPECTOR in South Middlesex County AMANDA'S SISTER, APUMPKINDA is a vote to support her and her hubby's Cokecaine dealer! Wasn't her purse recovered last year by Cambridge Health Alliance Security and a small baggie of Cokecane was discovered inside of it? Hospital Security then contacted a Somerville Police officer after going through the purse and finding her id card and driver's license who in turn swept it under the rug for her and her friends in the press along with Somerville Police officers that work for her and she controls thier payroll budget squashed that story for her didnt they? It must be nice? Please look into this and it with surface sooner than you think. The security guard is now all of a sudden going public with it. ANYBODYTA blammed her nephew and will turn this into an addiction problem for the kid when in fact it's her and her hubby's adiction.


Several points:

1) "Cokecane". Just....cokecane.

2) It took me four readings of this just to understand what the hell was going on. Not to harp on the fact that Craigslist has a superior sort of crazy, but over there 'Donnie' has spent the last 9 years complaining daily that the parks need a sunset curfew enforced with horses and barricades to keep "the Gays" from "partying". Compared to this, Donnie is Marcel Proust.

3) On the other hand, it's amazing what a cast of characters has cropped up in seven sentences. Which of them is the spammer?? Was it the security guard, furious that his attempt to bust a cokeycain user was ignored by the po-po? The nephew, seeking revenge for being blamed? A bold reporter who, after having their story spiked thanks to this diabolical politician's network of compliant local media-types, has decided that this is their last best chance to spread the Truth? It, of course, can't be one of the other candidates up for this job in the primary next week.

4) WHY LJ?? Did their first idea, to give this candidate a bad Yelp review, not pan out?

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oakenguy

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