We have a MOUSE in the apartment!!

[oakenguy]

And how do I know we have a mouse? Because while I was on the toilet, doing private things of a solitary nature, it darted through the crack under the door, BOUNCED off my FOOT and whooshed behind the pipes. My FOOT.

Did you know that a mouse in full 60 mph run, when seen out of the corner of one's eye, looks almost exactly like a little grey turd? And that this can lead to great confusion if one is in a certain place, because...well, look at the numbers:

BRAIN ACTIVITY IMMEDIATELY POST-IMPACT

10% What just happened? Let's figure this out!
40% It's moving a million miles an hour! It's right behind me!
50% We punched a hole in the toilet wall! Richochets! Ricochets! We're dead!!!

And through all the bellowing and panic, Toby "Mr. Vigilant Rat Terrier/Guard Dog" sits on the bed, saving his strength so that he can leap into action the second a greyhound walks past outside. It's enough to make me weep.

Comments

[callunav.livejournal.com]

I could /not/ stop laughing, reading this. That may have something to do with it being 4:40 am, but mostly I think it has to do with your writing.

Now, where did I put my asthma puffer....