I feel for you! I've had two wisdom teeth taken out (apparently the only two I have - it explains the lack of wisdom in other areas of my life!) at separate times, with only a couple of shots of novocaine and NO PAINKILLERS WHATSOEVER. But I did get the huge lumps of gauze, which are really quite uncomfortable and suck the moisture right outta your head.

I kinda think you should post photos of the Spaghetti-Os situation, though. And/or video of you trying to say "Shibly Malouf".

Enjoy the Percs! And whatever you don't use, you can sell for an insane price on Craigslist.