(no subject)

[oakenguy]

Newsweek has a little article this week on bear hunters in North Carolina, and how they've been luring bears using half-ton blocks of candy. Game wardens have been coming across gorging, blissed-out bears in sugar comas.

Half-ton.

Blocks.

Of candy.

For apparently candy factories compress their discarded product into huge cubes, and sell the cubes at a discount.

The factories say they're shocked, and will no longer sell these blocks to anyone suspected of being a bear hunter. Leaving who else for a customer base, exactly? Fairytale witches who want to build a two-story brownstone to lure Hansel and Gretel?

Comments

[flynngrrl.livejournal.com]

Well said, sir.

Reminds me of the naturalist couple that lived with bears in the Russian mountains to prove that bears didn't have to be dangerous. One summer they came back to find that all the bears they knew - and who had lost their fear of humans - had been killed by hunters who wanted their spleens for aphrodesiacs.

Capitalism makes the senseless make sense to the senseless.

[tersa.livejournal.com]

Fairytale witches who want to build a two-story brownstone to lure Hansel and Gretel?

*I* could be a fairytale witch. I just want to build a two-story brownstone of candy blocks now!

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Hunters are such whack-cases. One of my coworkers, upon being told about this story, told me that she knows hunters who buy deer urine and dab it on themselves so they can better attract deer...

"Mmmm, honey, what's *that* new cologne you're wearing?"

"Uh. 'Eau de Bambi'..."

[malinaldarose.livejournal.com]

Yah, you can buy the stuff bottled at camping stores. Bleck.

[enmascarado.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can see that:

Candyman: "You're not going to use this to hunt bears, are you?"

Hunter: "Uh, no, of course not... I'm using it to... uh... sweeten my swimming pool"

-Dan

[enidenvy.livejournal.com]

haha, that made me laugh.

Friend of a Friend of a Friend

[lordbleys.livejournal.com]

"Fairytale witches who want to build a two-story brownstone to lure Hansel and Gretel?"


LOL
thanks!

[crossbonestyle.livejournal.com]

I want a half ton block of candy and be blissed out on a sugar high!!!

[lediva.livejournal.com]

Parents who want to cure their kids of sugar addiction! It's like making kids smoke an entire carton of cigarettes, but sweeter.

Also, um... how much do these things cost? Y'know, just um... curious.

[hazeleyedfae.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA, that's great, Bri!

:3 Definitely makes me feel more mischievous. Imagine getting that much candy for Halloween...

Mmmm...

[issendai.livejournal.com]

I am suffused with desire for a half-ton block of candy.

[callunav.livejournal.com]

The idea of blissed out bears makes me grin a lot, but honestly, how someone could /shoot/ a blissed out bear is so beyond me. I honestly believe that virtually everyone I know, confronted with a blissed out bear, would drop their hands to their sides and stagger back, dazzled by the cute rays. Hunters are clearly a different species.

I like the idea of a half-ton block of candy, because one could make sculptures by strategic applications of hot water. You could make little candy cave formations, or model castles, or - bears! It would take a lot of practice to get it good, of course, and you'd have a lot of rejected efforts to dispose of in the process, but...