(no subject)

[oakenguy]

So Deb, bucking all the odds and ignoring my advice to talk through a hand puppet, actually got picked to be on a jury! She's pissed--it'll take at least a week, and she does *not* enjoy being in the middle of the first row, ground zero for the lawyers whenever they want to make significant eye contact.

This morning the jury's going on a field trip out to the scene of the crime.

I'm thinking of taking her to see "Runaway Jury" tonight. This morning as we parted ways, I told her, 'Remember, if someone offers you thousands of dollars to sway your opinion, do the right thing!'

Oh, speaking of shady situations: the mayoral candidate who sent the mooks around lost by 828 votes. Ooo, close one.

Comments

[chickenfeet2003.livejournal.com]

I could definitely use some advice on how to get out of jury duty

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

I've said it before, I'll say it again: nothing says "I don't belong here" like a talking hand puppet.

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Jury duty was FUN! Too bad she's not the foreperson, but field trips sound cooler than juvenile deliquents stealing a generator out of a park storage shed.

[callunav.livejournal.com]

Best ways (secondary to hand puppets) I can think of to get out of jury duty:

1. Be sure to sound far more intelligent/educated than the person screening you.
2. Declare any radical political opinions you hold openly.
3. If you don't have enough, make some up. Make sweeping generalizations like, "Of course, women never get a fair trial in the US legal system," (best said to a man, of course) or "Frankly, I think prisons should be abolished. Even if someone has committed a crime, what good does it do to lock them up with other criminals?" and "I have to say, I just don't believe in suing people. I know it's the American way, but I think it's ridiculous." Another helpful one is, "Well, I mean, it all depends what you consider /proof/, doesn't it? There's no point in trying to pretend that objectivity exists. Really, everything's always subjective, no matter what people say."
4. Keep interrupting your interviewer to talk about how exciting this is, and how you never miss an episode of "Judge Judy."
5. Try to give the impression that you have no clue what confidentiality means. Make it clear that your husband/wife/spouse/current SO/coworkers will get a blow-by-blow discription of everything you see and hear.
6. Remember to say several times how much you don't mind being there and how you hate your job, and then ask your interviewer whether it's true that a hung jury can drag a trial out for weeks and weeks.

Honestly, though, I actually think I'd like to do jury duty. I've showed up a few times, but I've never even been screened, let alone picked. I think it would be interesting, and it would feel so...civic. :)