A rant.

[oakenguy]

Annnnnd the day keeps getting better.

Groundhog Day party? It's actually Sunday afternoon, not Monday, so I can't go to it.

And I just read this:

vague message for someone on here
this entry went largely unnoticed, and the situation or issue or whatever it is is bugging me enough that i don't think i can continue reading. i'm sorry. i'm sick of reading about how much fun you had with someone i hate, i am sick of not being able to say "yes, i'll go" to any of your blanket invitation shindigs because i know that these someones are almost always going to show up, and that they are close friends with you, and that nobody can be impartial in this without snubbing one party or the other.

hopefully you'll figure this out, who you are and a little of how i feel. i feel horrible that i can't let this slide by. but the fact of the matter is, we have never hung out and we're never going to. and having someone be that geographically close and on my friend's list and to never SEE them is just a little too ooky for me. i need boston friends. this isn't helping. i'm sorry. because i think you're a really neat person. i just can't "deal."

you dish? i'm sure you don't care. whatever. it's just lj.


The following is a blanket statement to all the folks on my friends list who loathe each other, including the ones who WOULD loathe each other if you knew each other well enough (and I can think of at least two pairings here), and the ones who are currently friends but who will feud in the future:

I spent the first sixteen years of my life living with my parents without either killing them, killing myself, or choosing a side in their perennial wars. I spent the last three years of high school with two best friends who would alternate between tearing hanks of each others' hair out and humping like weasels. (Each other, not me. Never, ever me. Not that I'm bitter.) I drink Coke AND Pepsi. I like Derek Jeter AND Pedro Martinez. And, until you do something to screw me over personally, I honestly like both of you.

Impartial? Think of me as Switzerland. (No, seriously, do it, buy chocolate from me and give me lots of your money to hold--I promise to take it with no questions asked.) I might drive you nuts by never taking sides, but I'll always be there (Where am I gonna go? I'm landlocked!)

Also, if you want to see me, SEE ME. This'll be even more of a blanket statement: I've had it with inviting people to do things! It's stressful, I become a basket case whether they accept or not, if they don't accept I'm convinced its because they loathe me, if they do accept I think it's out of pity and await the inevitable lawsuit when the dog mauls them, I poison them, or they slit their wrists with a spork to avoid watching me try to keep a conversation going. I'll probably read this in June and go "Ho ho, seasonal depression right on cue", but right this minute the only activity I want to invite people to do is to watch me climb a tree fort and haul the ladder up behind me. And I've got a bucket full of green apples up here and I'm not afraid to throw 'em, so keep your distance!

*pantpantpant*

On the other hand, I enjoy seeing people once I see them. It's just the inviting that sucks. (And, I'll be honest, the prep time sucks too, especially now that it's winter and being social usually means leaving the warm house and walking 20 minutes to a T stop.) The point to this paragraph is.....um...I know I had one...oh, right, you want to see me? Go to the Registrar's Office and ask them to do something they can and should easily do--THEY'LL send you to see me, and then we can stand around in my office and be baffled about why they sent you over, and I can feel myself age ten more years in the space of a five-minute conversation. Try it, it's fun! All the cool kids are doing it!

Oh, I'm going to bed. Wretched day, let me shake the dust of you off my oversized tiger slippers, for I want to see you no more.