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Oaken's Inner Virgo Needs to Vent
Aug. 3rd, 2003 08:11 pmMemo to a particular internet fringe group: baby talk? Such as the following sample? )cut and pasted from the yahoo profile of someone who will remain anonymous): me gonna hab home fow fairies and all odder widdle ones cause we need pwace to wibe and wove too
MAKES MY EYES BLEED
Believe me, it's not a matter of cute. I can handle cute; I've thrived on levels of cuteness that would break a normal man. I DID A HAPPY DANCE WHEN I DISCOVERED THE HELLO KITTY TOASTER, for chrissakes. But there's nothing quite as ugly as a failed attempt to be cute, and this is the text equivalent of Ernest Borgnine in a Sailor Moon outfit.
I mean, making noises like that, it's baby talk as perfomed by an alien species that's only deduced the existence of baby talk through high-level theoretical physics. Even BABIES would try to smack you if they heard this crap. Beyond the bad grammar, beyond the random dropping of articles...replacing 'v' with a 'b' unless preceded by 'o'?? This isn't "cute" talk, this is talk being done by someone whose mouth and lips are swelling and contracting uncontrollably. Is this the image you're trying to convey?
MAKES MY EYES BLEED
Believe me, it's not a matter of cute. I can handle cute; I've thrived on levels of cuteness that would break a normal man. I DID A HAPPY DANCE WHEN I DISCOVERED THE HELLO KITTY TOASTER, for chrissakes. But there's nothing quite as ugly as a failed attempt to be cute, and this is the text equivalent of Ernest Borgnine in a Sailor Moon outfit.
I mean, making noises like that, it's baby talk as perfomed by an alien species that's only deduced the existence of baby talk through high-level theoretical physics. Even BABIES would try to smack you if they heard this crap. Beyond the bad grammar, beyond the random dropping of articles...replacing 'v' with a 'b' unless preceded by 'o'?? This isn't "cute" talk, this is talk being done by someone whose mouth and lips are swelling and contracting uncontrollably. Is this the image you're trying to convey?
