[personal profile] oakenguy
Garrison Keillor was on the radio this weekend talking about ice fishing. And it made me suspect that one of three things was happening:

A) He's not only never been ice fishing, but never even really seen any;
B) Ice fishing is done very, very differently in Minnesota;
C) He went ice fishing once, was totally taken in by a practical joke, and never realized it.

I can't completely rule out the possibility of B (much as I'd like to), so I'm transcribing, as best I can, his description. See if it sounds familiar.

Ice fishing involves going out onto a frozen lake, drilling a hole in the ice, putting some bait on a hook and putting the line down through the hole into the cold water. So far so good. Then you put on some expensive goggles, really well-made so they fit your face just right, and you put your face down into the water and you watch...they're infra-red goggles, you see...you watch for when the fish takes the bait and then you YANK the fish up, and pull it up out of the hole.

Infra-red...goggles? For fish? In an ice-covered lake?

I call shenanigans. AND monkeyshines.

In my experience (and I was driving BY ice fishermen on a lake while I listened to this), once you put the line down the hole you attach it to a little stick-and-springs contraption that waves a little red flag when a fish tugs on the line. Then you either retreat back to your ice hut and meditate (translation: drink) or take your Star Wars figures and spend a fun few hours creating elaborate Terror on Ice Planet Hoth dioramas, depending on your inclination.

That's my opinion...but you on my friendslist are much more worldly and well-travelled than I am. So I ask you, *is* there a frozen lake out there in the Midwest where you can go and see dozens of elderly fishermen kneeling down, butts up in the air, faces in the water?

Date: 2007-01-29 07:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mmymoon.livejournal.com
Wow, that sounds like a good way to get very, very ill! (The whole face-in-the-water bit.)

I don't think our lakes ever freeze, here. ^_^ I love you, warmth...

Date: 2007-01-29 07:39 pm (UTC)
ext_267559: (The Future)
From: [identity profile] mr-teem.livejournal.com
That sounds very much like the newbie teasing my late Uncle Casmere used to do to my brother and I when he was teaching us how to fish. Although he didn't, I have been ice fishing once--got way too cold, I didn't have the right boots on--and never saw any expensive goggles. Then again, most of the other fishermen were in their huts so who knows what they were doing behind closed doors.

Date: 2007-01-29 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bad-gustav.livejournal.com
I'm going to go with Garrison knows EXACTLY how to ice fish and hopes that a bunch of idiots who don't will go make fools out of themselves as they now think they know how. :)

Date: 2007-01-29 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fightguy.livejournal.com
Gustav Johnson is right! My brother, who lives in Minnesota, tells me that entertainment can be hard to come by during the winter months. Sounds to me like Garrison is just trying to improve the quality of life a bit for the natives...

Date: 2007-01-31 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scixual.livejournal.com
I agree with Fight Guy Johnson. Garrison has been known to stretch a tale from time to time.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2007-01-29 08:16 pm (UTC)
spatch: (Triplets)
From: [personal profile] spatch
I'm agreeing with the agreeing here. Garrison Keillor is engaging in the time-honored art of trolling, and I suspect in the next episode of APHC (it was APHC, was it not?) he will report on the number of indignant "That's not how you go ice fishing, you boob!" letters he received over the course of the week.

And I say this full in the knowledge that, when he wants to be, Keillor can be drier than a martini in Death Valley.

Date: 2007-01-29 07:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moominmolly.livejournal.com
That HAS to be a joke.

Date: 2007-01-29 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vozeatscake.livejournal.com
Funny you should mention this. We were out exploring the not-entirely-frozen pond near our house on Saturday and we found that if you polished up the surface of the ice and put your face right to it, cupping your hands around your eyes to block the light, you could see all the way to the bottom. This was right before the ice made a loud and ominous cracking noise and we ran like hell.

Date: 2007-01-29 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coscaram.livejournal.com
I think Mr. Keillor was giving the Minnesotan version of going 'snipe hunting'.

He's probably waiting to see how many e-mails he gets from NPR listeners who embarassed themselves by going to L.L. Bean and asking for ice-fishing/night-vision goggles.

Date: 2007-01-29 08:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snowwand.livejournal.com
Oh! I saw ice fishermen on the pond by Stone Zoo coming home yesterday! I was fearful for them...there has to be radiation in that water...or just sewage. Eww!

hehe

Date: 2007-01-29 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spenceraloysius.livejournal.com
Terror on Ice Planet Hoth: When the Fish Strike Back!

Date: 2007-01-29 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] telepresence.livejournal.com
Never liked Garrison Kiellor. I have no opinion on ice fishing.

Date: 2007-01-29 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bismuthobsidian.livejournal.com
I love reading his "Post to the Host" on the PHC website! I especially love how he responds to hate mail. I suggest you send him one asking about ice fishing.

:D

Date: 2007-01-29 11:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maxineofarc.livejournal.com
Garrison Keillor *is*, at least nominally, a humorist, you know. ;)

Date: 2007-01-30 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bosfan24.livejournal.com
i so want infa-red goggles now.

Date: 2007-01-31 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foresthouse.livejournal.com
I vote he was totally kidding.

The only exposure I have to ice fishing is from Grumpy Old Men. Or was it Grumpier Old Men? I dunno, but my grandmother loves them both.

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