'Transformers', a review
Sep. 6th, 2007 01:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oakenguyI've had this post kicking around in my head for a week, and I don't know why. I mean, how hard can it be to write a review about a Giant Robot/summertime blockbuster?
Turns out, in this case it's pretty hard. As I remember, my f'list is pretty evenly divided on this movie. And I can see both sides.
**SPOILERS AHOY!**
The Good:
*Giant robots. Really cool-looking giant robots. Some great shots of these robots (although I liked them better the first time I saw them, in Iron Giant and King Kong...whoops! Snarking already!)
*Both main female characters were given a chance to shine. Only one chance, mind you, but still.
*The story actually managed to get me caught up in it--I was surprised at the end to find out the movie had been 2 1/2 hours long. I would've guessed 90 minutes.
*In just one, maybe two lines of dialogue, they managed to give a shout-out to one of my favorite dysfunctional relationships, the one between the head Decepticon bad guy, Megatron, and his lieutenant, Starscream. For those of you who haven't seen the series, imagine the Pointy-Haired Boss and Dilbert as giant, psychopathic world-conquering robots and you'll have the basic gist.
(I'll now pause for a moment as your brain shakes with how AWESOME that concept is.)
Sidenote One: seriously, I can't overstate how dysfunctional the original Megatron is. He still takes the prize for being the only cartoon bad guy to be placed in an insane asylum by his own men for being too unstable. Take THAT, impressionable eight-year-old viewing audience.
Sidenote Two: I actually took part in a Decepticon LARP, which overtly seemed at the beginning to be a 'You're all trapped in your HQ. Try to figure out what happened' kind of game. In reality it was a 'You're all giant insane robots. With big guns. Who hate each other. We're going to sit back and watch what happens' game. After playing in that game, taking crack seems so redundant.
And yet, did I like it? Well....let's take a look at THE BAD:
*I shouldn't have seen 'Superbad' before I saw this movie, because whenever Shia LaBeouf was on the screen I imagined Michael Cera in his role. Or, really, *any* teenage male who didn't seem like a shallow twit.
*You're a robot. Your name's Jazz. You've got a 'Soul Brother' accent. And....you're breakdancing? Stop. Please stop.
*While I tried really hard to turn off my brain, there were still a number of plot points that just made me ache inside. Off the top of my head:
We need to protect this boy! We'll send the member who can't talk to disguise himself as a crappy car in a used car lot close to his house, and eventually he'll come and buy him! Whaaa?
We need to hack into the US Military computer system! We'll send our only covert agent to sneak onto Air Force One and do it from there! Whaa?!?!?
Our country's been attacked by giant robots! Too bad we don't know anything about giant robots! Except, wait, we do! We have a whole division devoted to studying them...except they're so incompetent they remind folks of the bad camp counsellors in 'Meatballs'! But wait, they're NOT incompetent, they're a legacy of a secret conspiracy founded by Herbert Hoover, and.... WHAA?!?
And my favorite: Unstoppable robots are attacking our base! We can't let them get the cosmic McGuffin! Quick! Let's drive out of the desert with it and take it into the MIDDLE OF A CITY! Well, alright, I can see how that would make sense because WHAAAAA?!?!?
I think it's at that point where they lost me. (They'd lost me earlier when one of the Good Guy-robots threatened to shoot a chihuahua, ho ho, but won me back with Starscream). I can watch giant robots beating up other giant robots all day, but when they're sending cars with people inside flying every which way? Crushing office workers? Ick.
So, to sum up: it was a surprisingly enjoyable movie for what it was, but if you can wait for the DVD and skip all the parts with human actors, or better yet find a way to edit all the humans out altogether and just watch the robots, do it.
Turns out, in this case it's pretty hard. As I remember, my f'list is pretty evenly divided on this movie. And I can see both sides.
**SPOILERS AHOY!**
The Good:
*Giant robots. Really cool-looking giant robots. Some great shots of these robots (although I liked them better the first time I saw them, in Iron Giant and King Kong...whoops! Snarking already!)
*Both main female characters were given a chance to shine. Only one chance, mind you, but still.
*The story actually managed to get me caught up in it--I was surprised at the end to find out the movie had been 2 1/2 hours long. I would've guessed 90 minutes.
*In just one, maybe two lines of dialogue, they managed to give a shout-out to one of my favorite dysfunctional relationships, the one between the head Decepticon bad guy, Megatron, and his lieutenant, Starscream. For those of you who haven't seen the series, imagine the Pointy-Haired Boss and Dilbert as giant, psychopathic world-conquering robots and you'll have the basic gist.
(I'll now pause for a moment as your brain shakes with how AWESOME that concept is.)
Sidenote One: seriously, I can't overstate how dysfunctional the original Megatron is. He still takes the prize for being the only cartoon bad guy to be placed in an insane asylum by his own men for being too unstable. Take THAT, impressionable eight-year-old viewing audience.
Sidenote Two: I actually took part in a Decepticon LARP, which overtly seemed at the beginning to be a 'You're all trapped in your HQ. Try to figure out what happened' kind of game. In reality it was a 'You're all giant insane robots. With big guns. Who hate each other. We're going to sit back and watch what happens' game. After playing in that game, taking crack seems so redundant.
And yet, did I like it? Well....let's take a look at THE BAD:
*I shouldn't have seen 'Superbad' before I saw this movie, because whenever Shia LaBeouf was on the screen I imagined Michael Cera in his role. Or, really, *any* teenage male who didn't seem like a shallow twit.
*You're a robot. Your name's Jazz. You've got a 'Soul Brother' accent. And....you're breakdancing? Stop. Please stop.
*While I tried really hard to turn off my brain, there were still a number of plot points that just made me ache inside. Off the top of my head:
We need to protect this boy! We'll send the member who can't talk to disguise himself as a crappy car in a used car lot close to his house, and eventually he'll come and buy him! Whaaa?
We need to hack into the US Military computer system! We'll send our only covert agent to sneak onto Air Force One and do it from there! Whaa?!?!?
Our country's been attacked by giant robots! Too bad we don't know anything about giant robots! Except, wait, we do! We have a whole division devoted to studying them...except they're so incompetent they remind folks of the bad camp counsellors in 'Meatballs'! But wait, they're NOT incompetent, they're a legacy of a secret conspiracy founded by Herbert Hoover, and.... WHAA?!?
And my favorite: Unstoppable robots are attacking our base! We can't let them get the cosmic McGuffin! Quick! Let's drive out of the desert with it and take it into the MIDDLE OF A CITY! Well, alright, I can see how that would make sense because WHAAAAA?!?!?
I think it's at that point where they lost me. (They'd lost me earlier when one of the Good Guy-robots threatened to shoot a chihuahua, ho ho, but won me back with Starscream). I can watch giant robots beating up other giant robots all day, but when they're sending cars with people inside flying every which way? Crushing office workers? Ick.
So, to sum up: it was a surprisingly enjoyable movie for what it was, but if you can wait for the DVD and skip all the parts with human actors, or better yet find a way to edit all the humans out altogether and just watch the robots, do it.
