(no subject)
Jul. 14th, 2008 10:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oakenguyOh, Stillman Farms. I want to love them, I really do. I love the thought of just going to the farmer's market each week, buying some local organic meat, and eating some local organic meat.
There's just one problem, and it's this: I seem to be totally unable to try to buy something from them without it turning into Monty Python's Cheese Shop sketch.
Here's how events transpired this Saturday. I went up to their booth. Before I did, I (remembering other occasions) took the time to study their hand-written sign. I repeat: hand-written, looked like it had been drawn up fresh that day. It listed about a dozen different types of meat. This gave me false hope.
ME: Hello. I would like some ham steaks, please.
CLERK: Sorry, we don't have those today.
ME: Ah. Bacon?
CLERK: Nope, all our smoked meat is in New York. Mostly what we have today is sausage.
(A-ha, thinks I. A Clue.)
ME: Great! I'll have some of your Italian sweet sausage.
(Pause while they rummage in the cooler)
CLERK: Nope, we're out.
It's at this point that the balalaika music begins playing in my head.
CLERK: We do have hot sausage! (handing me some)
ME: (handing it back) Thanks, but no.
CLERK: Kielbasa?
ME: Yes. YES. Just...yes. God yes.
If all my food purchases went like this, I'd be 75 pounds lighter. Or dead.
There's just one problem, and it's this: I seem to be totally unable to try to buy something from them without it turning into Monty Python's Cheese Shop sketch.
Here's how events transpired this Saturday. I went up to their booth. Before I did, I (remembering other occasions) took the time to study their hand-written sign. I repeat: hand-written, looked like it had been drawn up fresh that day. It listed about a dozen different types of meat. This gave me false hope.
ME: Hello. I would like some ham steaks, please.
CLERK: Sorry, we don't have those today.
ME: Ah. Bacon?
CLERK: Nope, all our smoked meat is in New York. Mostly what we have today is sausage.
(A-ha, thinks I. A Clue.)
ME: Great! I'll have some of your Italian sweet sausage.
(Pause while they rummage in the cooler)
CLERK: Nope, we're out.
It's at this point that the balalaika music begins playing in my head.
CLERK: We do have hot sausage! (handing me some)
ME: (handing it back) Thanks, but no.
CLERK: Kielbasa?
ME: Yes. YES. Just...yes. God yes.
If all my food purchases went like this, I'd be 75 pounds lighter. Or dead.
