[personal profile] oakenguy
OMFG.

FOOD COMA.

I've just gotten back from Speed's, known by some as the home of The Finest Hot Dogs In the World. Since "some" includes every newspaper and magazine critic in town, and more recently the Wall Street Journal, this is something that's been on my to-do list for a few years.

Just getting there is halfway between a trek and an odyssey. You ride the bus as far south as you can, get off before it makes its right turn, and then the fun REALLY starts since you have to....wait, no, why spoil the fun of the hunt for you? Part of Speed's charm is that he's not in Fenway or hanging out on City Hall Plaza with the Phantom Gourmet, he's just doing his thing, his AMAZING thing, in a little truck parked by the side of the road in a part of town a lot of locals have never even heard of, and the majority of his customers while I was there were the truckers and factory guys who work in the neighborhood. Honestly, more really good food should be hidden this way--everything tastes better if you've had to quest for it.

I WILL say that it's near both the Chinese Spaghetti Factory (they're wholesalers!) and the State Department of Transitional Assistance, which is so obviously bureaucrat-speak for State Department of Exorcisms that I can't even stand it.

Anyhow. The hot dog.

*pause to shudder with pleasure*

For starters it's the size of a kielbasa, which made it about 3 times as large as I was expecting. Custom-made by a local butcher, marinated and then slow roasted, *then* sliced open and grilled for the customer, before being topped with onions, chili (a special blend they make themselves), mustard (another secret recipe) and a bbq-sweet sauce (Heinz--NO just kidding).

The first bite, I found myself trying to compose a haiku about the experience.

By the fourth bite, I was thinking about Joseph Campbell and how one might create an opera about this hot dog incorporating Star Wars, Norse myth, and local Boston folklore.

By the sixth bite, I realized I'd been holding it wrong and my shirt was in serious trouble.

I think I'm going to go lie down now. On my office floor. They're musicians, they'll understand.

Date: 2008-07-25 06:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] temperlj.livejournal.com
*pats you, rubs hot dog Buddha belly*

Date: 2008-07-25 06:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fbhjr.livejournal.com
I don't normally like hot dogs, but that sounds really good...

Date: 2008-07-25 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
Apple cider, brown sugar, and Secret Stuff. Possibly crack.

Date: 2008-07-25 06:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sairisse.livejournal.com
Field trip!

Date: 2008-07-25 07:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fbhjr.livejournal.com
Oooo, crack......

Mmmmm, sausage

Date: 2008-07-25 07:45 pm (UTC)
ext_107301: (southpark)
From: [identity profile] aethelflaed2.livejournal.com
Wow, that sounds good, especially since I was already craving hot dogs. Thank goodness I'm going to a ballgame tonight!

Date: 2008-07-25 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] resk.livejournal.com
I just had 2 ginormous potato pancakes. I'm extremely full.

Yet this entry had me salivating.

Date: 2008-07-25 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magickcat.livejournal.com
need. boyfriend always gets lost. gimme directions, pwetty pweeeeeze????? omgneed.

Date: 2008-07-26 05:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kali921.livejournal.com
May I Metaquote this?

Because this vegan is laughing herself into a COMA.

Date: 2008-07-26 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
Of course. :)

Date: 2008-07-26 12:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
I got lost my first time, too!

The easiest way to do it is to go down Mass Ave until you see the Newmarket Square sign, and then go another block or two until you see Victoria's Diner on your left. The left turn right past it is the street you want. After that, just keep your eyes out--Speed's little white truck should be on the right.

*I* found it first when I noticed the smoke from the grill. So keep an eye out for that, too.

Date: 2008-07-26 10:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wanderingrogue.livejournal.com
That sounds heart-cloggingly delicious. :)

Date: 2008-07-27 11:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kali921.livejournal.com
Metaquoted!

You must get so tired of me constantly asking to Metaquote you.

Date: 2008-07-27 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
No, no, it's not something I think one ever grows tired of. :)

Date: 2008-07-28 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kali921.livejournal.com
See, the difference between Bri and the rest of us is that Bri writes posts with no regard to their Metaquotability, but said posts effortlessly find their way to Metaquotage anyway. Whereas the rest of us labor long and hard in vain to craft a clever turn of phrase.

In other words, you're a damn good writer, sir.

Date: 2008-07-28 12:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] retention.livejournal.com
This sounded tasty the first time I read it - and I don't even like hot dogs! Then I saw you were metaquoted. Awww yeah.

Date: 2008-07-28 12:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kurukami.livejournal.com
See, now I've totally got to get down there and try this out. (Linked in from [livejournal.com profile] metaquotes, by the by.) Despite me living up near New Hampshire, I'm totally going to train/bike down and try Speed's out, just on the strength of your recommendation combined with Yelp's. : )

Date: 2008-07-28 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] makarov.livejournal.com
sounds like a hot dog worth walking barefoot across 50 yards of hell for

Date: 2008-07-28 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
I like the cut of your jib!

I should caution you that just before you cross the border into the Newmarket neighborhood you'll encounter an intersection (of Mass Ave and I-90 and two smaller streets) which is dangerous even by Boston's low, low standards. So be careful, especially once you've achieved your hot dog nirvana and are in that beautiful protein high. :)

Date: 2008-07-28 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kurukami.livejournal.com
Right down by the Scientology Center? Yup, I've biked through there before. It's tricky. I will attempt to avoid letting the post-dog gustatory nirvana distract me. *grin*

Date: 2008-08-16 01:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magickcat.livejournal.com
You know, we went yesterday because my dentist is in dorchester... no sign of speed's (but likely closed for the day because my dentist appt was at 4:30pm)
Had a trip to the ER (cough stuff) and when we got back here at 2am... my goddamn filling fell out.
I swear I am supposed to have a hot dog before I lose my tooth and CAN'T.

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