My Odd Weekend (part 2 of 3)
Sep. 18th, 2008 01:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oakenguyI apologize in advance for this not being a picture post.
Saturday I officially became The Uncle Who's a Bad Influence: I took my niece to the Boston Tattoo Convention.
To be fair, I should note that she's 19 and already *has* two tattoos. But still. While her parents didn't mind the trip to Rocky Horror, this was definitely somewhere in between 'trip to nude beach' and 'attend Obama rally while on shrooms' in their "Things Not to Do With Her" list.
Some of the artists were nice, one was sleazy (him to niece: "You've got a lot of pretty canvas I'd be happy to work on". EWW), and oddly enough the one artist with a visual style closest to what I was looking for was *so* hesitant and unwilling to even talk about possible ideas that she left me wondering whether she a) hated the thought of giving me a tattoo or b) was on the verge of giving up tattooing together. Long story short, after about a half hour the Sequel and I were both pretty bored. So bored, in fact, that while we wandered from booth to booth looking at the flipbooks we started creating our "No. Just...whut? NO." list.
(This is totally distinct from our "WHUT???" list, which only has one tattoo on it. When that tattoo is Abraham Lincoln wearing boxing gloves punching a shark, though, what could compete?)
BRIAN & ASH'S 'NO. JUST...WHUT? NO.' TATTOO LIST 2008
Third prize: 'Taco With a Frowny Face'. (Google: Did you mean to type 'tattoo "TACOMA with a face"'?" No, thank you for trying.) If the face had been on the shell, maybe not so bad. But the face manifested in the beans, and the overall effect was...you know those hermit crabs and how they take over abandoned shells much too large for them, and just glare out from inside with those crazy black eyes? This. This taco.
Second prize: Fetuses. Apparently they're pretty popular, since we saw examples at four different booths and a search online reveals variants like Alien Fetus, Zombie Fetus and Skeletal Fetus in a Jar. And yet there are no photos online of me being CREEPED THE HELL OUT.
First prize by a landslide: Someone got, on the palm of their hand, a tattoo of a pile of dog poop. I'm going to put this as plainly as I can: you could be a mixture of Nelson Mandela, Miles Vorkosigan and Mother Theresa, but if you have a tattoo of dog poop on your palm, I am never going to trust your judgement in any matter, large or small. Babysitting. Driving a vehicle I'm in. Recommending a band. Telling me what time it is. No. You have already demonstrated that your brain is capable of such EPIC FAILURE that anything, A-NEE-THING you say or do is going to be suspect.
Saturday I officially became The Uncle Who's a Bad Influence: I took my niece to the Boston Tattoo Convention.
To be fair, I should note that she's 19 and already *has* two tattoos. But still. While her parents didn't mind the trip to Rocky Horror, this was definitely somewhere in between 'trip to nude beach' and 'attend Obama rally while on shrooms' in their "Things Not to Do With Her" list.
Some of the artists were nice, one was sleazy (him to niece: "You've got a lot of pretty canvas I'd be happy to work on". EWW), and oddly enough the one artist with a visual style closest to what I was looking for was *so* hesitant and unwilling to even talk about possible ideas that she left me wondering whether she a) hated the thought of giving me a tattoo or b) was on the verge of giving up tattooing together. Long story short, after about a half hour the Sequel and I were both pretty bored. So bored, in fact, that while we wandered from booth to booth looking at the flipbooks we started creating our "No. Just...whut? NO." list.
(This is totally distinct from our "WHUT???" list, which only has one tattoo on it. When that tattoo is Abraham Lincoln wearing boxing gloves punching a shark, though, what could compete?)
BRIAN & ASH'S 'NO. JUST...WHUT? NO.' TATTOO LIST 2008
Third prize: 'Taco With a Frowny Face'. (Google: Did you mean to type 'tattoo "TACOMA with a face"'?" No, thank you for trying.) If the face had been on the shell, maybe not so bad. But the face manifested in the beans, and the overall effect was...you know those hermit crabs and how they take over abandoned shells much too large for them, and just glare out from inside with those crazy black eyes? This. This taco.
Second prize: Fetuses. Apparently they're pretty popular, since we saw examples at four different booths and a search online reveals variants like Alien Fetus, Zombie Fetus and Skeletal Fetus in a Jar. And yet there are no photos online of me being CREEPED THE HELL OUT.
First prize by a landslide: Someone got, on the palm of their hand, a tattoo of a pile of dog poop. I'm going to put this as plainly as I can: you could be a mixture of Nelson Mandela, Miles Vorkosigan and Mother Theresa, but if you have a tattoo of dog poop on your palm, I am never going to trust your judgement in any matter, large or small. Babysitting. Driving a vehicle I'm in. Recommending a band. Telling me what time it is. No. You have already demonstrated that your brain is capable of such EPIC FAILURE that anything, A-NEE-THING you say or do is going to be suspect.
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Thanks a lot Brian!
Date: 2008-09-18 08:32 pm (UTC)(Double-plus bc you put Mother Theresa and Miles Vorkosigan in the same sentence.)
Re: Thanks a lot Brian!
Date: 2008-09-20 03:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-04 12:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-04 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 09:55 pm (UTC)Oh, also! Audioboy and I ran into each other at Diesel recently, and realized we both know you (well, duh, I suppose). Neat. He's now convinced I truly know everyone.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 11:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-19 12:26 am (UTC)poop hand
Date: 2008-09-19 12:38 am (UTC)Just thinking that I could never shake hands with someone that had that on their hand, thinking I was getting a shitty deal/greeting. Kind like what you said!
Now a tattoo of an eye on the palm of your hand, that to me is funny! :)
Re: poop hand
Date: 2008-09-19 11:17 am (UTC)Re: poop hand
Date: 2008-10-04 12:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-19 01:13 pm (UTC)Plus, I have "Tacoma with a face" running through my head as sung by Billy Idol.