[personal profile] oakenguy
I've gotten used to odd trolls online, but coming through the US Postal System?

On Tuesday, every resident of Cambridge MA, Westwood CA, New Haven CT, Ithaca NY, Ann Arbor MI and Berkeley CA received a two page flyer in the mail with, in place of a return address, the message "THE LAS VEGAS MOB THREATENS NATIONAL SECURITY BY CORRUPTING THE MASSIVE SPORTS BOOK MARKET BY FIXING GAMES AND RAKING IN 100 MILLION PER MONTH". By Someone Who Wishes to Remain Anonymous.

As you can imagine, it was special.

As far as I can make out--the text is a little rambling--the author is so upset that the Mob rigs sports events that he's sending out a direct mailing to "towns that are home to elite colleges" (sidenote: once again, Oberlin OH weeps), hoping to ignite enough outrage that Congress will be FORCED to take notice. Which...as nutty appeals to grassroots democracy go, I'm actually okay with this in theory. Hey, it makes more sense than Nader's campaign.

But the devil, or in this case, the batshit insanity, is in the details. In this case, the author's description of WHY the Las Vegas Mob is so menacing. I quote:

"...I was followed by over 20 cars driven by either private detectives or CIA agents. It was easy to identify the CIA because of the car colors they chose: white for good, black for evil, red for control, green for money, blue for sanity, and yellow for minor sin."

"On several occasions over the last few years I have been confronted by thugs from the Mob. One was a large man wearing a black leather jacket who took a step towards me and then quickly rushed off, scared off by the CIA. Another time I was followed into a public restroom by an Asian man who karate kicked his urinal handle."


Urinal. Handle.

One other thing I need to point out is that if he really did send this mailing to all the zip codes he mentioned, at 13 cents apiece? That's about $26,000.

Date: 2008-11-26 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heavenscalyx.livejournal.com
Wow.

Just... wow.

... but what does my silver car mean? I MUST KNOW.

Date: 2008-11-26 06:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mdyesowitch.livejournal.com
This reminds me of something from Coupling where Jane thinks she's being stalked.
Jane: I'm being stalked, actually, so I'm pretty secure in my attractiveness.
Susan: You're being stalked?
Jane: Is that so hard to believe?
Sally: My god!
Jane: Everyday on my way home from work, a man follows me. It's true.
Susan: Well, have you been to the police?
Jane: They said I was being silly and paranoid. I heard them laughing after I left.
Sally: That's terrible!
Susan: Well, have you confronted the man who follows you?
Jane: Well, there's no point, is there? It's never the same man twice. Sometimes they switch over when I'm halfway home. It's so well organized!

Date: 2008-11-26 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smacaski.livejournal.com
And that's $26,000 he could have spent on rigged Vegas sports betting!

I have no doubt the sports books are raking in $100 million per month. They are trying to make money, after all, and they hire very smart people to set the lines on games. This guy is not only crazy, he's also downright stupid.

Date: 2008-11-26 07:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] that.livejournal.com
Somebody's off their meds for sure.

Date: 2008-11-26 08:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sistahraven.livejournal.com
Wow. WTF bunny can't WTFacepalm enough.

Coupling!

Date: 2008-11-26 08:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sistahraven.livejournal.com
That's one of my absolute favorite Jane moments!

Date: 2008-11-26 11:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ursula-lear.livejournal.com
I love Jane! Although S4 got weird when they introduced Oliver and Jane fell for him and I never got over the feeling that Oliver was a poor Jeff clone.

Date: 2008-11-27 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] ron_newman
Westwood CA? Home to previously unknown UC-Westwood?

Date: 2008-11-27 03:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kissedbythegods.livejournal.com
I was dying by "karate kicked his urinal handle".

Date: 2008-11-27 04:47 am (UTC)
ext_27139: A cartoon version of me: a pale-skinned brunette with black cat's eye glasses and a bun. (Default)
From: [identity profile] maeveenroute.livejournal.com
Actually... UCLA is in Westwood, which is a neighborhood of Los Angeles.

(LA being the sprawling multinuclear city that it is, mail is addressed by neighborhoods - so, growing up, my address read "Woodland Hills," even though my parents voted for the Mayor of Los Angeles.)

Date: 2008-11-27 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] worldforawhile.livejournal.com
What an odd assortment of cities.

Date: 2008-11-27 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] ron_newman
Yeah, I knew that, it just looked funny. (I thought mail to there was still supposed to be addressed "Los Angeles", but maybe not.)

Date: 2008-11-28 01:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
I know! Is there any male who hasn't done this at some point in his life?

It makes me wonder what I've been mistaken for, over the years.

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