The "things could be worse" meme

[oakenguy]

Taken from beaniesue, this game's simple: google "Unfortunately, (your first name)" and see what results you ge. Sigh in relief that they're not talking about you.

My favorites:

"Unfortunately, Brian decided to try some rat poison for lunch"
"Unfortunately, Brian has a tendency to accidentally kill Jeff"
"Unfortunately Brian has left us to be in a better place, Chuck E. Cheese's."
"Unfortunately, Brian has had to pull out of his support slot on the Boyzone tour."
"Unfortunately, Brian's own faith in his parenting abilities faltered when his sister was wounded in a street fight between the Hellions and the Skulls."

Comments

[empheliath.livejournal.com]

Ugh. This meme sucks for me! Nearly every result is part of an episode recap of "Veronica Mars". And the one that isn't relates to the way old search engine Veronica, from back when the internet didn't have pictures.

I don't know you, but...

[wellstar.livejournal.com]

"Unfortunately, Veronica", -Mars

Much better results.

And I get to use this icon.

Re: I don't know you, but...

[kittybrat.livejournal.com]

hey, that's nice to know about searching on google. i didn't know you could (minus) something to skew the results. :)

[furtim.livejournal.com]

"Unfortunately, Joshua's refluxing problems were not solved. Joshua was a negative 10 on the growth chart and he was considered failure to thrive."
"Unfortunately, Joshua Norton wasn't satisfied with merely being wealthy, he wanted to be rich; richer than Croeus or Caesar."
"Unfortunately, Joshua Norton's financial ruin came just as rapidly as his success."
"Unfortunately, Joshua and Esther’s marriage did not last." (Joshua and Esther? How biblical.)
"Unfortunately, Joshua Passed away May 18th, 2007 and the marathon was June 1st."
"Unfortunately, Joshua passed away in July of 2006. It was a pleasure knowing him and I will miss him. He was a true 'intellectual'." (I feel like I should submit this one to The Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks... scare quotes on 'intellectual'. Ouch.)
"Unfortunately Joshua Bloch hasn't let his reasons be known." (Mysterious!)
"Unfortunately Joshua blank who is currently doing business in Las Vegas, NV you have really put me in a very uncomfortable position."
"Unfortunately, Joshua Logan's deliberate pacing weakens the story and the audience's interest in it."

[spatch]

"Unfortunately Spatch's cowbell had been removed, so he was forced to ride neutered and silent."

The thing is that A. it's only one of three results on Google and B. of those three results, two of them (this one included) are referring directly to me.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

HAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA, look at all the DEPRESSING things that I got:

Unfortunately, Kali’s momentum began to fail in the third game against Washington, with a final score of 5-12.

Unfortunately, Kali crossed the Rainbow Bridge yesterday...

Unfortunately, Kali had been unaware of Marc's engagement to another woman at the time.

Unfortunately, Kali Kumar's boss did not like the idea of his being devoted to a spiritual Master.

...Everything else was too depressing to share. My real name yielded nothing interesting, so flat out FAIL there.

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

For some reason, when I read about Kali Kumar I immediately got this image of a little shrine to Danny Rand set up in a corner of his office.

And now I want one.

Unfortunately, Katja seems to be a popular name for Swedish and German porn stars

[lemur-catta.livejournal.com]

The bits that don't refer to the plot of "Big Butts Prison Gang Bang 2":

Unfortunately, Katja often wakes up to new dogs that have been thrown over her fence.

Unfortunately, Katja's English is only slightly better than that, thus precluding any possible discussion of the neo-classical view of post-modern existentialism...

Unfortunately Katja was somewhat unfortunate

Unfortunately Katja was there so I just grabbed Frankenstein and went to Mollie's room.

Unfortunately, Katja brought over some serious stomach issues from the South Island.

Re: Unfortunately, Katja seems to be a popular name for Swedish and German porn stars

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

That first one? About the dogs? Assuming it's not porn (I hope I pray), what the heck *is* it?

Re: Unfortunately, Katja seems to be a popular name for Swedish and German porn stars

[lemur-catta.livejournal.com]

It's some lady with a dog rescue shelter in Serbia and ,fortunately, not a very high fence.

[mr-teem.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, 'teem' is a verb, so I get things like "Our Indian cities unfortunately teem with such characters, ripe for mischief and longing for anarchy."

However, unfortunately, Teem will not be in session for the summer of 2007.

[kittybrat.livejournal.com]

"unfortunately, melody maker 3.0 was never finished..."

"unfortunately, melody's vocals here are the worst so far in the album"

"unfortunately, melody has been the target of fraudulent fund raisers"

"unfortunately, melody is not available on dvd except in japan..."

"unfortunately, melody overheard and was rather upset"