My Grossest Post EVER

[oakenguy]

I have discovered that if, through a strange sequence of events, you thoroughly chew a piece of meat and then breathe the wrong way, it will come out your nose.

Over the course of about fifteen minutes.

(At least, I'm HOPING that's what was in my kleenex, and not bits of my lung.)

Shoot me now.

Comments

[enidenvy.livejournal.com]

that is pretty gross. ive had rice come out of my nose on several occasions tho. does that count? its also pretty nasty.

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

We used rice at the haunted house as imitation maggots! So yah, *very* nasty.

[devina.livejournal.com]

Now there's an attractive mental image.

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, I thought you needed a break from the goosebump-inducing erotic tension of my last 500 posts.

SNARFING!

[helianthas.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, the official word for having food come out your nose is "snarf", conjugated regularly.

As in, "My friend Oaken snarfed chewed-up MEAT! How gross is that!?!?"

In other snarfing trivia:

-Through an official informal poll, it has been found that the most commonly snarfed "foods" are milk, coke, and scrambled eggs.

-Snarfs are usually brought on by a)sneezing or b)laughing.

-Trying to induce a snarf in one's friends has brought joy to humans across the planet since, one could argue, the dawn of time.

-You probably actually know a human who can put a piece of dental floss or other chain or rope-like material into his (for those possessing this ability are invariably male) mouth and snarf one end out of his nose, tying the ends together for a complete oral-nasal loop. This is, depending on your view, either really cool or really gross. Or both.

-A person who can perform a similar trick to the above by putting the thread up one nostril and out the other might possess a rare talent, might have broken his nose in a billion places, but most likely is or has been a cocaine addict. Note: It's not snarfing if the mouth is not involved!

-Snarfing can be by far one of the most unpleasant innocuous human experiences! Hope you enjoyed yours! Did you have witnesses?

Re: SNARFING!

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

Scrambled EGGS? Oy. That makes me feel better.

No witnesses, thanks to the delayed reaction of the whole thing. That was the strangest part--I had time to calmly walk up a flight of stairs, get some kleenex, go into the bathroom, and THEN kerfluffle. It was very odd.