(no subject)

[oakenguy]

Well, I'm freshly back from seeing 'Three Hours of Ululating Singing', filmed under the title given it by Brad Pitt's agents, 'ACHILLES! Tough, Sensitive and very very Straight!'. I think some theatres might have made a mistake and called it 'Troy', but that was obviously a typo on the marquee.

It was very educational.

Between this film and 'Return of the King', I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I'm ever in a city under siege, the first thing I need to do is kill the city ruler and let their son take command, because every decision the king will make will be wrong, and everything the son does is right.

Other things I did not know:

Llamas roamed Turkey 3200 years ago. You'd think they'd appear on more Grecian urns.

It's possible, though, that they died out with the fall of Troy (killed and eaten by none other than Brad Pitt, who used their fat as the world's first tanning cream because he was THAT ADVANCED. He was even talking American when everyone else was still speaking British!) There are many things we don't know about Troy. For just one example, it's clearly shown on the west coast of Turkey, but when the Greeks park their ships on the beach, they enjoy several lovely sunrises coming up over the ocean behind them! Tricky Trojans, building their port city so far from shore that invaders have to park on the Black Sea and take the exorbitant monorail in to the battlefield if they want to invade!

(Seriously, wouldn't Disneyworld be the hardest spot in the world to invade? "Where'd we park the tanks? A29bx1? A29b...what do you mean, was it the blue zone or the red zone?!? Aw, fuckit, let's go attack El Paso.")

Comments

[anadandy.livejournal.com]

Because dude, Petrocles was *so* Achilles cousin.

You must read Troy in 15 minutes

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, that's brilliant.

[sumimasen-kiyo.livejournal.com]

Your funny.
Personally I just went to look at the candy.

[fightguy.livejournal.com]

I was amazed to discover that the entire Seige of Troy only took three weeks. I guess the rest of the ten years mentioned in "The Iliad" when they were supposed to be attacking Troy was just covering their asses with their wives; they were probably partying in the Bahamas the whole time.

[keelie.livejournal.com]

Troy was clearly very futuristic.

I mean, they were using coins to put on the eyes of their dead 500 years before they were invented.

That's AMAZING!

I like how everyone who died didn't really die. And everyone who lived really should've died.

Mostly, I just liked Teh Nakid Bradd.

[niecystrips.livejournal.com]

I love the way you write. I dig the way your mind works.

[chocolatemog.livejournal.com]

When I saw your statement'Three Hours of Ululating Singing'I wondered if you felt the same way about the sound track to that movie that I did? i.e. I think it was clumsy! I have never felt that way about a soundtrack before, but I really think they overdid it with the same peice of music over and over with EVERY "moving" scene.

Anyway, on to Llamas, I love their wool! have you ever felt llama wool, it is so soft :) I have bear made out of llama wool, who I have called "llamy".

[ah42.livejournal.com]

Heh. I managed to skim over the whole thing and focus, somehow, on the word "tanks."

"Dude, where's my tank?"
"Dunno, where's your tank, dude?"

heheh...

[lilacsinmarch.livejournal.com]

I just have to post this on my homer2004,may I?may I?

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

I'm flattered! Please do!

[ukelele.livejournal.com]

This is a brilliant and plausible theory. I approve.

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

Thank you! The feeling is totally mutual.

Re: oh the armor...

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

Yeah...if they'd really miked the big line battle the *squeaky squeaky squeaky* sound of all that rubber rubbing together would've been deafening.

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

That's so cute! I've always loved llamas, even after one at a zoo tried to eat my hair. :)

Did you know that up in Maine there's a service that rents pack llamas for you to go hiking with?