(no subject)
Jun. 25th, 2004 02:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oakenguyWell, I'm freshly back from seeing 'Three Hours of Ululating Singing', filmed under the title given it by Brad Pitt's agents, 'ACHILLES! Tough, Sensitive and very very Straight!'. I think some theatres might have made a mistake and called it 'Troy', but that was obviously a typo on the marquee.
It was very educational.
Between this film and 'Return of the King', I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I'm ever in a city under siege, the first thing I need to do is kill the city ruler and let their son take command, because every decision the king will make will be wrong, and everything the son does is right.
Other things I did not know:
Llamas roamed Turkey 3200 years ago. You'd think they'd appear on more Grecian urns.
It's possible, though, that they died out with the fall of Troy (killed and eaten by none other than Brad Pitt, who used their fat as the world's first tanning cream because he was THAT ADVANCED. He was even talking American when everyone else was still speaking British!) There are many things we don't know about Troy. For just one example, it's clearly shown on the west coast of Turkey, but when the Greeks park their ships on the beach, they enjoy several lovely sunrises coming up over the ocean behind them! Tricky Trojans, building their port city so far from shore that invaders have to park on the Black Sea and take the exorbitant monorail in to the battlefield if they want to invade!
(Seriously, wouldn't Disneyworld be the hardest spot in the world to invade? "Where'd we park the tanks? A29bx1? A29b...what do you mean, was it the blue zone or the red zone?!? Aw, fuckit, let's go attack El Paso.")
It was very educational.
Between this film and 'Return of the King', I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I'm ever in a city under siege, the first thing I need to do is kill the city ruler and let their son take command, because every decision the king will make will be wrong, and everything the son does is right.
Other things I did not know:
Llamas roamed Turkey 3200 years ago. You'd think they'd appear on more Grecian urns.
It's possible, though, that they died out with the fall of Troy (killed and eaten by none other than Brad Pitt, who used their fat as the world's first tanning cream because he was THAT ADVANCED. He was even talking American when everyone else was still speaking British!) There are many things we don't know about Troy. For just one example, it's clearly shown on the west coast of Turkey, but when the Greeks park their ships on the beach, they enjoy several lovely sunrises coming up over the ocean behind them! Tricky Trojans, building their port city so far from shore that invaders have to park on the Black Sea and take the exorbitant monorail in to the battlefield if they want to invade!
(Seriously, wouldn't Disneyworld be the hardest spot in the world to invade? "Where'd we park the tanks? A29bx1? A29b...what do you mean, was it the blue zone or the red zone?!? Aw, fuckit, let's go attack El Paso.")
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Re: oh the armor...
Date: 2004-06-28 11:55 am (UTC)