Jan. 6th, 2005

So, yeah, well, I'm back!

So, um, three eventful weeks or so have gone by and there haven't been many posts, and those that I've made have been, frankly, bollocks. So what've I been up to, you may ask?

Well, I shall hereby list it. But NOT IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER. Because it might be more interesting that way, and, frankly, my mind's too scattered to generate the necessary flow chart right now.

1. I've twisted my ankle, a bit. I'd like to blame it on snowy conditions or rescuing a bear cub from a burning circus tent or something, but no, the curb was an inch closer to me than I thought it was, foot found an angle where it wasn't supposed to go, and there was much ouching. (The stumbling forward, almost into rush hour traffic, was also a colorful side-event). It's not a bad one, as these things go, which is good as there's only so long your housemate will let you get out of errands by pointing at your ankle, making a sad face and saying "Cripple?"

2. Especially after a week of said housemate caring for her mom who had her KNEE replaced. Well, we both did. (Cared for her, that is. Not had our knees replaced. Now THERE'S a body mod trend that probably won't catch on.) May I just say that timing a new, extreme diet like, say, the first week of South Beach to coincide with major surgery is probably not the best idea? By day 2 we were tossing out the concept of portion size and deciding that green beans grilled in bacon fat were totally healthy; by day 5 we'd come to the conclusion that the best thing to serve with the evening salad was a bowl of pudding (low-fat, sugar-free) the size of her head. Hey, it kept her happy.

3. Unlike the Conversation she and I had about My Plans For Her Daughter. (Yes, she really did speak in capitals like that. It was eerie.) The biggest problem, looking back, is that we thought we were speaking the same language, but really I was talking English and she was talking Catholic Mom, so my sentence "We've pretty much agreed that we'd like to do it sometime, but she wants something simple and fast and I want more of a ceremony" actually translated into "Your daughter is going to die alone, and probably be eaten afterwards by her 93 cats."

3a. Not that D's mom isn't a lovely, wonderful person.
3b. Who I'm sure isn't reading this.
3c. Because, after all, we only made the mistake of mentioning our journals once, and even if she was curious enough to go looking, how could she possibly find them?
3d. Have I mentioned that she works for the government in a department with memo pads that have the logo "Obtaining Information Through Technology" on them?
3e. So, no worries there.
3f. LOVELY woman.

Okay, breaking for caffeine. Parts 4 - ? coming in a half hour or so!

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oakenguy

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