[personal profile] oakenguy
So, yeah, well, I'm back!

So, um, three eventful weeks or so have gone by and there haven't been many posts, and those that I've made have been, frankly, bollocks. So what've I been up to, you may ask?

Well, I shall hereby list it. But NOT IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER. Because it might be more interesting that way, and, frankly, my mind's too scattered to generate the necessary flow chart right now.

1. I've twisted my ankle, a bit. I'd like to blame it on snowy conditions or rescuing a bear cub from a burning circus tent or something, but no, the curb was an inch closer to me than I thought it was, foot found an angle where it wasn't supposed to go, and there was much ouching. (The stumbling forward, almost into rush hour traffic, was also a colorful side-event). It's not a bad one, as these things go, which is good as there's only so long your housemate will let you get out of errands by pointing at your ankle, making a sad face and saying "Cripple?"

2. Especially after a week of said housemate caring for her mom who had her KNEE replaced. Well, we both did. (Cared for her, that is. Not had our knees replaced. Now THERE'S a body mod trend that probably won't catch on.) May I just say that timing a new, extreme diet like, say, the first week of South Beach to coincide with major surgery is probably not the best idea? By day 2 we were tossing out the concept of portion size and deciding that green beans grilled in bacon fat were totally healthy; by day 5 we'd come to the conclusion that the best thing to serve with the evening salad was a bowl of pudding (low-fat, sugar-free) the size of her head. Hey, it kept her happy.

3. Unlike the Conversation she and I had about My Plans For Her Daughter. (Yes, she really did speak in capitals like that. It was eerie.) The biggest problem, looking back, is that we thought we were speaking the same language, but really I was talking English and she was talking Catholic Mom, so my sentence "We've pretty much agreed that we'd like to do it sometime, but she wants something simple and fast and I want more of a ceremony" actually translated into "Your daughter is going to die alone, and probably be eaten afterwards by her 93 cats."

3a. Not that D's mom isn't a lovely, wonderful person.
3b. Who I'm sure isn't reading this.
3c. Because, after all, we only made the mistake of mentioning our journals once, and even if she was curious enough to go looking, how could she possibly find them?
3d. Have I mentioned that she works for the government in a department with memo pads that have the logo "Obtaining Information Through Technology" on them?
3e. So, no worries there.
3f. LOVELY woman.

Okay, breaking for caffeine. Parts 4 - ? coming in a half hour or so!

Date: 2005-01-06 08:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ice-cream-eyes.livejournal.com
hey- i've done south beach and green beans in bacon fat as well as sugar free pudding are totally ok! Despite that, the carbs lure me back . . .

(sorry to hear about your lameness.)

(I mean the ankle, naturally.)

Date: 2005-01-06 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
(Naturally. Heh.)

Did you use an entire pack of bacon, though?

Date: 2005-01-06 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ice-cream-eyes.livejournal.com
Well, I tired to be extra healthy and buy the turkey bacon. But I think that ultimately just drove us insane and we ran screaming back to the happy world of buttery pumpkin muffins and deep dish pizza (drool).

Date: 2005-01-06 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] godswraith.livejournal.com
Oh how I have missed thee! We haven't chatted about our inability to have a full conversation at the Christmas Party yet!

Date: 2005-01-06 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crossbonestyle.livejournal.com
"We've pretty much agreed that we'd like to do it sometime, but she wants something simple and fast and I want more of a ceremony" actually translated into "Your daughter is going to die alone, and probably be eaten afterwards by her 93 cats."


That put me into an unstoppable fit of laughter

Date: 2005-01-06 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fightguy.livejournal.com
I think that in order for it to be properly translated into High Catholic, there has to be a codicil about her being condemned misery in the afterlife too, for some obscure reason (possibly for being a post-mortem cat canape, which I'm pretty sure is forbidden somewhere in Leviticus)...

Date: 2005-01-06 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] telepresence.livejournal.com
3a-3f had me wiping tears from my eyes.

Date: 2005-01-06 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snowwand.livejournal.com
He's back!

I've missed you on IM :(

I take it your ouched ankle will prevent you from coming to the ceilidh tomorrow night? :(

Date: 2005-01-06 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
Unless the ceilidh has a lot of comfy cushions and a heating pad, probably. :(

Date: 2005-01-06 10:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snowwand.livejournal.com
:(

There will probably be some good whiskey, though ;)

Date: 2005-01-06 09:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] morninghood.livejournal.com
So sorry you hurt your ankle. I missed you last night, but did get a well needed rest and some stuff done I've been putting off.
Let me know when you want to reschedule - I'm free thursday and friday next week...
email me.

Date: 2005-01-06 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
Next thursday! I'll e-mail. We'll chat. :)

Date: 2005-01-06 09:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maxineofarc.livejournal.com
All I'm saying is that I had no idea my parents were reading my journal until they got their feelings hurt by a completely innocuous comment that was not actually about them.

Date: 2005-01-06 09:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stanharding.livejournal.com
Happy New Year, Bri!

Sorry about your ankle.

And heeheeheehee...

Date: 2005-01-06 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
Happy New Year to you and Mr Man!

Date: 2005-01-06 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] absolutelyzing.livejournal.com
Sorry you hurt your ankle. I must admit that your post is rather amusing as you described things with such wit. Take care.

Date: 2005-01-06 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anadandy.livejournal.com
Hurray, oaken is back. I now can no longer drink beverages while reading LJ. :)

Date: 2005-01-07 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bulrogue.livejournal.com
Something I forgot to do!
:wiping coffee from monitor:

South Beach

Date: 2005-01-06 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] simply-juniper.livejournal.com
Isn't about portion control. That's one of the first things they say in the book.

Sorry about your ankle.

yay =)

Date: 2005-01-06 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dianasblackrose.livejournal.com
good to see a post for you, and I hoppe your ankle heals up fast!

Date: 2005-01-06 11:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foresthouse.livejournal.com
*sniff* I'm sorry I missed you while you were in town.
Next time. Next time!

A joint of law

Date: 2005-01-07 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] superrob.livejournal.com
To return a sentiment you expressed following the end of a much longer hiatus on my part:

Oaken! You're back!

I missed ya, you erudite quipster, you. Sorry you hurt the ankle. You will now be added to the same prayer category in which Brian T. and Cliff were prominently featured recently - A joint production, you might say. The prayers won't be as forceful, since we're talking a relatively minor joint here.

The moral: Do bigger joints.

Date: 2005-01-07 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devina.livejournal.com
"We've pretty much agreed that we'd like to do it sometime, but she wants something simple and fast and I want more of a ceremony"

This created a completely different image than the one intended.

Date: 2005-01-13 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qlewkr.livejournal.com
re: 3c

HA. By "we" you mean "I" as in "you", because, frankly, I would never make that mistake around my mother. She was just asking us what blogs were a few weeks ago, remember?

Doomed.

er...hi, Mom!

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