Misadventures in fitness:

[oakenguy]

So yesterday I needed new indoor shoes before I could join the gym my workplace has just signed a deal with. Instead of going the Payless route I thought I'd splurge for once and go to one of those schmancy stores where they examine your stride and find shoes with the proper alignment, all that hoo-ha.

It started out well; the clerk had me roll my pants up and walk around, noticed a thing about how my left ankle wobbles, got me some NASA-designed sneakers to try on, had me test them on the treadmill...and then he said "You can roll your pants back down now."

And I could. not. DO. it.

The cuffs were narrow, and my calves were plump, and ye gods, there I was in the snootiest shoestore I've ever been in, struggling with my pants like a starving dog trying to get a bag of chips open.

Every now and then I'd take a break and try to act completely casual, like I meant for my pants to be that way. I'd try another pair of shoes on, test them on the treadmill, struggle with my pants a little more, take the shoes off...eventually I got my right leg down, which meant I just looked like a brain-damaged bike messenger.

Oh, and after all that was over? The gym I'd BOUGHT the shoes for, the only affordable one in the area? Was full and had a 92-person waitlist for membership.

Comments

[piratetaranee.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[sistahraven.livejournal.com]

ROFL. I had a similarly embrassing experience in a snooty shoe store a few years back, so I'll share it to make you feel less lonely in your shoe-store embarassment:

As you know, I used to work in the surgery department of a very big animal hospital (Poor Toby being deobstipated!). As such, I used to get *nasty* things on my shoes (including Toby-poo). Everything from labrador belly fat to doggie vomit and back... nast.

So I go to have my feet analyzed, and I'm in my "work shoes" which roughly translates to the nastiest pair of trainers you can imagine. They examined my feet, asked me what I needed the shoes for and then ::dum dum DUM:: picked up my old pair of shoes to see what size I needed.

The clerk then asked me about the peculiar smelling stain on my shoe (who knows why) and when I sniffed the stain and honestly answered "Oh, that smells like partially digested Eukanuba large breed dog food" (what Vet-tech would pass up the opportunity to show off such olfactory prowess??) the saleperson proceeded to throw up all over my shoes.

So, in true me fashion, I added, "And partially digested Big Mac"

I got very comfy shoes out of that store, even if I had to leave behind the old ones (human vomit is just *gross*)

[malterre.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing that. I laughed *after* I swallowed my Diiet Coke, thank goodness. :)

[sistahraven.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! Nothing like making salespeople vomit while trying to serve you.

[snowwand.livejournal.com]

What gym has a 92 person waiting list?!

I'm going to go check out the Cambridge and Malden Ys this week...the Cambridge one would be a slight pain in the ass to get to, but it has a climbing wall!

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

It's the Boston Racquetball & Health Club, who I guess my school approached because they were really close...but they've just been completely overwhelmed by the demand. :P

Cambridge Y, hmm?

[elkster.livejournal.com]

one thing:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHh

[lixie.livejournal.com]

Is this the chain of stores that is all about a particular event in April? Because that place is intimidating as all get out. The empathy/sympathy overflows, my friend.

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

How did you guess? Them's the ones.

[malterre.livejournal.com]

The *really* snooty shoe stores would have apologized and helped you unroll. My friend caerwynx and I can take you to the Very Dark shoe side.*rubs hands*

[anotherjen.livejournal.com]

AAAH, that sucks. Why didn't you just go to the bathroom and pull down your pants to get them down??

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

I thought of that--they said they didn't have one, and would need to go across the street to the library, or down three doors to the hardware store!

[anotherjen.livejournal.com]

Not much of a chi-chi store if they don't have a bathroom you can use.

[coscaram.livejournal.com]

This is probably how LL Cool J came up with the look.

If you want a laugh, I will show you how long it takes me to put on my right sock.

[discojesus.livejournal.com]

The BU gym is pretty close to where you live - really close, in fact. All that means is that you and Deb have to get a *cough*littlesecretmarriage*cough* and for a small (by which I mean prohibitive) fee, you can come run on the elliptical runner! Minimizes impact on your feet! Yay!