(no subject)

[oakenguy]

Gah. My nephew's report card came in, and it was pretty bad--Ds in 2 classes, Cs in two others, a couple of Bs. My sister and dad have asked me to speak with him, as someone he might pay more attention to....but what the heck do I say?

Also, in news of particular interest to Boston-area geekfolk...Improv Boston has a Friday night show called 'In the Garage' that's a portrayal of a D&Dish gaming session, with the actors portraying both the players and the characters. It's around for the next three Fridays...would anyone like to go?

Comments

[piratetaranee.livejournal.com]

Maybe you could start by asking him how come his grades are the way they are? Maybe he's struggling too much or maybe he's bored and not being challenged enough so he slacks off?? I dunno, I'm sorry can't be too much help here. Good luck though. =0)

[bootsvalentine.livejournal.com]

How old is your nephew? I'd just ask him what's going on with school, especially with those two classes he got Ds in. Are they too hard for him or is he just bored/unhappy with the subject/teacher/class dynamic?
I would focus on the classes he got Ds in, emphasizing you know he can do better. We've all gotten a few Cs in our time, and I think that you'll find out what's up by focusing on the serious problem area.
Just my 2 cents :)

[godswraith.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, i have experience in the bad grades department, although my track record is iffy! What I have learned is first and foremost to listen. Ask them for info about the grades, was it the material? Tests ? Laziness? then, acting as a concultant/confidante and not a parent, stategize what you can do. Writing down assignments, home quizzes, outside help, flash cards, whatever.

Non-judgemental, and consultive, it seems to work.

[feyfire.livejournal.com]

What he said ::nods:: Lecturing him on how you know he can do better won't help - if he's struggling he'll get frsutrated and if he's bored, he already knows that. Try to listen to him and see if he can tell you why he didn't do so hot. If he even wants to talk about it.

The future conversation is always iffy. Most kids don't know what they want for lunch, nevermind what they want to do for the rest of their lives.

[sairisse.livejournal.com]

Most kids don't know what they want for lunch, nevermind what they want to do for the rest of their lives.

How very true. From the fifth grade through the end of highschool, my parents' motivation for me to do well was, "Get good grades so you can go to a good college." I'm not sure how effective this approach is, compared to what godswraith suggested.

[northernminx.livejournal.com]

I think a more realistic argument is that good grades will help open doors for you no matter _what_ you choose to do, or the more idealistic approach that while the skills we learn in high school sometimes seem useless, they are things we generally need to be able to figure things out in our lives for ourselves.

[aquagirl.livejournal.com]

Perhaps just asking him why he thinks his grades are low, stressing the impact bad grades have on your future, and coming up with a game plan between the two of you (or more appropriately, between he and his parents) for how to improve them. When I was growing up I was told to improve my grades or else, never asked why or given any options or even reasoning behind the need to improve. Hence, my grades did not improve. If you correlate action to reaction and just listen, that would probably be effective.

[diabological.livejournal.com]

If your nephew has a problem - either with the material, the other kids, or something totally unrelated - he's probably embarressed about it. Can you possibly call his teachers and ask them what they think the problem is? At least then when you talk to your nephew you'd have an idea what it is you're trying to draw out of him.

[flopart.livejournal.com]

1.) as to the nephew, ask him -why- he feels he got the grades he did. some kids don't do work simply because they are lazy, but i have been in his situation before. is it the material? the workload? the teaching style? poor time management? doesn't know how to study well? or is something else distracting him: emotional problems, specific social problems, so much pressure from the family or a successful sibling that he breaks under it, no pressure at -all- from the family? nobody to talk to? i bet there's SOME mechanical reason and SOME emotional reason why.

2.) ahh! i would LOVE to go to the improv boston thing. but i WORK friday nights uyfgarjgbejarg *doom*

the end.

[ah42.livejournal.com]

Re: Nephew. Eep. Whatever you do, don't tell him "well, you're never going to get into MIT now." Trust me, that'll put a kid off from ever caring if he does good in school! I was that kid :(

Re: ImprovBoston... OMG I've been wanting to see them again for so long... I just haven't had a chance, or remembered or any of a myriad of excuses. So no more excuses.

[superrob.livejournal.com]

Hmm... Nephew. Show him an issue of Playboy. Remind him guys who flip burgers for a living hardly ever date girls like that. Then again, with all the airbrushing, nobody really dates girls like that, but you can leave that part out. (This is an actual suggestion, not a smartass comment, btw)

Regarding the show - I'm up for it next Friday.

Rob

[callunav.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I'd back up a step, and ask him what *he* thinks of his grades. I mean, how people want to respond to him is going to be pretty different if he A: thinks they're all right, doesn't really care, B: is mainly focused on other people being upset and worrying about or feeling defensive about their reactions rather than figuring out his own feelings, C: is depressed and nihilistic and doesn't think he can do better, D: is frustrated because he's been trying to do better but it hasn't worked, E: is indignant, thinks they're completely unfair and he OUGHT to have gotten better grades, F: is baffled, doesn't really understand how the grades end up the way they do, G: is proud because this proves he's not a nerd, or H: other.

I mean...you know what I mean? I mean...

Personally, I'd be saying, "So, dude, your mom said something about your grades. What's up with that?" but the specfic wording has to suit your relationship. :)

I think you can do it, but I don't think much of his parents for asking you to. Not unless there's a long history of bad grades and failed efforts on their part, to which I am not privy.

Improv Boston...not this week, but maybe one of the next two? What time does it start?

[hazeleyedfae.livejournal.com]

I heard about that. Let me know how it turns out! (Friday all taken, boo. :( )