oakenguy

12:00 Kickoff parade.

12:07 End of parade. Well that was, um, minimalistic. Two bands (by which I mean groups of 6-8 people with drums), one canoe, two giant puppets. I've seen larger, more colorful crowds waiting outside McDonalds to try the new McGriddle.

12:14 Four people in parade costumes park hurriedly, jump out of their car, and look up and down the parade route looking totally lost. Ouch.

12:23 The Deborah Mason Dance Company performers are very young, very white, very sticklike. The youngest ones are giving me a creepy little Jon-Benet Ramsey vibe. They're tapping to old-timey classics like "Hey Look Me Over".

Standing watching them, arms folded, are the members of Jam'nastics, acrobats and hip-hop dancers who are mostly not white, who are mostly not sticklike. The looks of puzzlement and disdain on their faces as they watch the other kids makes me envision a whole saga of bad blood between the two troupes, heated words in the Dancewear changing rooms, emergency meetings of the Arts Council trying to cool the tension down, the Dance Complex putting up restrictions on the number of tap shoes allowed in a room at one time.

1:12 Whoever at the Animal Rescue League had the idea of setting up a dog agility course was a genius. They chose an area where a lot of people walk their dogs, too, so besides the ringers we get to watch a lot of very happy, not-too-bright pups exploring the course for the first time. And failing, omg, failing in so many different ways! Molly the golden retriever puppy just managed to get onto the balance beam, get her leash tangled in her feet, and launch herself at her owner's shoulder. And she LOVES it.

1:15 A Dad is helping his two toddlers run through the agility course. This is Too Cute--oh, wait, oops, definitely need a lot of work handling the jump through the hoop bit...

1:28 I have never seen porta-potties this sweet. A seat. A urinal. One one side wall, a LOT of t.p. On the other side wall, hand sanitizer. And at about eye level, a shelf for your belongings. Complete with (and this is the creme de la creme) a cup holder. A frickin' cup holder. What next, automatically-warming seats?

2:02 What's been billed in the program as "a drumming call-and-response between boats and on-shore drummers" ends when it becomes obvious that apparently no one told the folks in the boats that they were supposed to bring instruments. Much harried paddling ensues.

2:40 A performer is doing something she calls "acro-massage", which involves loosening people up by lifting them off their feet in various ways...she trust-falls them a couple times, boosts them onto her back, and for the big finish she lays on her back and has the subject fall back on top of her, so that they're completely supported by her hands and feet. I think I spot

pheromone dangling at one point, but it's a very unsafe time to go over and check.

3:03 I hear an Animal Rescue League volunteer telling a dog-walker that she'd be perfect! for the owner/dog look-alike contest that's about to start. The woman (whose hair, to be honest, totally matches her dog's) doesn't seem to know how to take this.

3:15 Teenagers getting their faces painted is cute. One girl's getting a heart while her friend's getting a mouse nose and whiskers; their dates are getting, respectively, a goatee and "red sunglasses like the ones (pointing) she's got on. With the rhinestones." The face painter looks flustered.

3:23 Some local political theater-types have crashed the party, wandering around in costumes parodying the Bushes, Oil Barons, media outlets and a Two-Faced Politician. The problem is that they've mostly crashed right in the space the Acro-Massagist was using. She's trying to get an audience to come and gather by saying that if they do, they can get "these political freaks to go away!" Ouch.

4:00 Decide to get out of the sun, go see "The Italian Job", aka "That movie with Seth Green and some other people." Is it just me, or is Mark Wahlberg looking more and more like William Macy with better hair?