[personal profile] oakenguy
INSPECTOR: Thank you for gathering here, and for your help in this investigation. It's been a tricky case, it has, for it turns out that ALL of you have a motive for killing the Major! Groundskeeper Corky, you knew the Major was about to fire you!

CORKY: Cor!

INSPECTOR: Lady Ethelburg, you knew the Major was on the verge of exposing you as the notorious New Orleans card shark Luscious LaRue!

LADY: Oh, I say!

INSPECTOR: Albino Pete, you were jealous of the Major for his sallow pigmentation!

ALBINO: Like a piece of wheat toast, the bastard! But that doesn't mean I killed him!

INSPECTOR: Perky the Puppy, you just hated him for your heart is full of hate...

PUPPY: Warf!

INSPECTOR: And Niles Crane from 'Frasier' possessed by Satan, his odor offended you. And also, you're possessed by Satan.

NILES: He perpetually stank of plums! I DETEST plums! (possessed voice) And it always is a right treat to sink yer teeth into a man's spleen and chomp on it while he's watchin' yez, and then spit it out onto the parquet floor and look over at the customers and yell "Mornin', K-Mart shoppers! Aisle 3's gonna be closed fer clean-up!" But that doesn't mean I chomped on the Major, now, does it?

INSPECTOR: Not necessarily. For you see, the true killer was...

[Poll #1130007]

Date: 2008-01-30 04:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raavyn.livejournal.com
As an owner of a bunny, I know how vicious they can be.

Date: 2008-01-30 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] themikado.livejournal.com
The INSPECTOR, of course!
(deleted comment)

Date: 2008-02-01 03:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakenguy.livejournal.com
I'm not, and neither are you, ha-ha!

(Poor Maren.)

My biggest obstacle (as you both can attest) is my craptastic Comcast connection in the evenings. Apart from Monday nights I'm totally free...it's just that there's a chance I might spend it swearing at the modem and waving my laptop around instead of actually, you know, being ONLINE.

Here's a CRAZY thought: maybe a noontime meet-up?

Date: 2008-01-30 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nmsunbear.livejournal.com
John Flansburgh, after discovering that it was, in fact, the Major who kept moving his chair.

Date: 2008-01-30 05:08 pm (UTC)
spatch: (Default)
From: [personal profile] spatch
I blame society.

Also, if you're stuck in your story, you may want to have Mr. The Cat help cause he wrote a mystery once too.
Edited Date: 2008-01-30 05:16 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-01-31 03:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redfishie.livejournal.com
Other: The mortician. He wasn't really dead...at first...

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