Why I Never Get Things Done

[oakenguy]

FOREBRAIN: Okay, everything's quiet here. Now's the perfect time to open up that draft of the play and see if the idea I had last night actually...what are you doing?

HINDBRAIN: I'm looking up the lyrics to 'Jai Ho'!

FOREBRAIN: 'Jai Ho'. The 'Slumdog Millionaire' song.

HINDBRAIN: Mmhmm!

FOREBRAIN: Why do you suddenly want to know what the song's about?

HINDBRAIN: Huh? Psssht. A translation? I could care less about that. I need the lyrics so I can memorize them for karaoke!

FOREBRAIN:..................karaoke.

HINDBRAIN: Mmhmm!

FOREBRAIN: Okay, let's break down all the flaws here. First, can you even name the language the song is *in*?

HINDBRAIN: Doesn't matter, I'll learn it phonetically.

FOREBRAIN: Uh-HUH. Okay, let's try this: when was the last time you actually performed karaoke?

HINDBRAIN: Um............don't remember.

FOREBRAIN: Riiiiiight. What number did the year end in?

HINDBRAIN: Um. Five?

FOREBRAIN: Uh-huh. And where do we live?

HINDBRAIN: Boston.

FOREBRAIN: And how many Bollywood songs does your average Boston karaoke bar keep in its playlist?

HINDBRAIN: It's a very catchy tune!

FOREBRAIN: It's a duet!!

HINDBRAIN: It's a VERY CATCHY TUNE!!

FOREBRAIN: So let me sum up...you're wasting precious time and neuron-space to memorize a song in a language you don't speak so that IF you ever attend an event you go to every five years at best, IF they, despite all odds and logic, happen to have it available you will be able to sing PART of it.

HINDBRAIN: What's your point?

MIDBRAIN: Guys! Guys! If we did something with circus clowns who are also in the Mafia, we could title it "Cosa Red Nosetra"! Isn't that fantastic?

FOREBRAIN: I give up.

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