Things the Realtors Have Taught Us

[oakenguy]

"How much are you willing to spend?" means "Name a figure a couple hundred dollars under what you're willing to pay, because those are the apartments I'm about to show you."

"Where are you interested in living?" means "No, seriously, what areas are totally unacceptable, because I've got some real dives I'd love to foist on you given half a chance."

"Backyard great spot for dining al fresco" means "English is my second language and I think 'al fresco' = 'nude'."

"Kitchen old but functional" means "Run run RUN for the hills."

"Bye-eee-eee-eee" means "Never darken our doorstep again you horrible customers."

Comments

[st-emma.livejournal.com]

"Kitchen old but functional" doesn't sound like it could be anything other than a euphemism, probably involving an ancient and unstable stove that threatens to explode like the boiler in The Shining.

*shudder*

I'd wish you good luck, but considering what you're faced with, that's probably not enough, is it?

Good luck.

[mr-teem.livejournal.com]

Hurm. The memories...

My favorite is "hardwood floors" means "anal landlord requires you to purchase wall-to-wall floor rugs to protect his hardwood floors"

(Number three doesn't necessarily sound bad, btw. :-))

Re:

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

True, number three was a definite contender. If only it hadn't been a basement apartment completely devoid of sunlight....

[somehedgehog.livejournal.com]

Could be worse. You could be living with

a) hippies
b) who play the accordian
c) and have cats with chronic dysentery

Living with the 'rents was never such a sweet deal.

Re:

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

Oh.

My.

God.

Would you like me to keep my ears open for cool folks that're looking for housemates? I've come across quite a few who could take one person; there's just been trouble fitting two people and a dog into the mix.

[callunav.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear.

The whole realtor thing sucks. Nine times out of ten, it seems, they treat you horribly, make you feel the way they /ought/ to be feeling, and then ask for phenomenal amounts of money as payment for having done so.